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Posts Tagged ‘field goal’

It needs but a thought. Not even a deed. Just a notion and karma will take it to the bank. It waits, gathering interest over the years. Then, one day, without warning…smack! The little shit whacks you upside the head. That’s just for thinking it!

For actually doing it, you get promoted. That’s correct, a promotion, And it comes with a raise! Better still, it’s more like you get…elevated.  We’re talking the proverbial pointed boot right square up the ass and believe me, that’s good for at least three feet north-west. In my case, Karma always waits for me to hit bottom before sneaking into town to cash my check. It takes a second and a half. In and out. I feel the whack and realize that once again, I’ve been boinked and left holding the bag. Karma’s big bite marks never go away, either. In my case they last years. And years. Like tattoos. I’ll die with them.

kicker

From: San Francisco Chronicle

The worst, though, is when karma wants to make a bold statement and looks for payback in a huge way. I’ll be tying my shoe laces when it  materializes and goes for a 52 yard field goal against the wind!  Over the years Mr. K and I have teamed up for quite a few three-pointers and several really long punts when it’s really pissed at me.  Often, I hit the crossbar then bounce between the posts for the score. Karma doesn’t miss.

Karma is not punishment or retribution but simply an extended expression or consequence of natural acts,” according to Wikipedia. It is a universal principle of cause and effect. Notice the word “extended.”  But, we are now getting into belief systems and that is a much larger subject suitable only for books, never mind a blog post. Still, to bleed into the story just a tiny part of my own world view, I think to myself, what a wonderful…  (where did that come from?) I am the deliverer of my karma.  Furthermore, in my opinion, all karma is negative. At least mine sure is.

But not all karma lasts forever. There are some consequences that are quick and to the point. That would pertain to “instant karma“, but not quite like the instant karma of John Lennon’s famous song.

I like to think of instant karma as practice. Like when I was a pre-teen and sassed my mother. I learned not to linger in the kitchen. Too many times she caught up to me and kicked my butt. Hard. Then, she wouldn’t talk to me for days, but still woke me up at 7:26 a.m. to listen to Earl Nightingale impart his words of wisdom on the radio. He’s the one who said something to the effect that “if you think it, it will happen.” But you see, karma doesn’t make it happen. You do. Karma simply waits for you to do all the hard work then shows up and takes a jack hammer to your dream. Instant karma, on the other hand, lets you get used to its big sibling’s bite. It readies you for when you think or do something really evil, or just contrary to the rules on the rock, most notably (if you’re not a murderer or adulterer) the second commandment which can− if you are really high on yourself, perhaps even narcissistic − involve pride. Vanity is also one of the seven deadly sins. It’s certainly been a major player in my game. Well, actually they all have.

10 Commandments

7 deadly sins pride I used to think I was sooo tall.

Ha! Did you think I was really going to tell you what I thought? What I did?

You first.

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